I’ve liked like 9 of your selfies how do you not get this
― I disagree with you but ill let you have this one because I don’t feel like debating anymore with your simple ass (via monitormylife)
i went to a party and put 3 whole loaves of sliced bread all around the house i put bread under the kid’s pillow and in all 3 of his bathrooms, in his rugby shorts and the breast pocket of his school shirt, on his roof and his neighbor’s roof, in his couch and on his tv i’m laughing so hard he’s going to wake up hungover tomorrow and be like why the fuck is there bread everywhere
i’m pissing myself
ok you won a world cup but you still lost two world wars so chill
When you realize that someone is only being nice to you because they want something
You were the answer to every question I had.
I would ask why the sky was blue,
And you would ask me what blue was.
And we’d make a story
About the color that became blue with sadness.
How it escaped and climbed to the white sky,
Made it blush with the shade of the sun,
And how blue was born that day.
And I asked you how you died, and fucking why!
And they all offer answers, stories.
They make no sense at all, I know this.
I know if you were here, we’d made a story.
About how you died and your funeral.
And I would have said ‘How did you die?’
And you would have replied, ‘How did I live?’
― I hope it’s better where you are (via dick-kicker3000)